100 DAYS of travel- January 11th, 2020
Updated: Jan 13
Today marks 100 days of traveling abroad.
For those that have been following my blog, you know all about my adventures these last three plus months through Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Bali, and Sri Lanka. So then, you may recognize that the last 60 or so days, have been no picnic for me.
Unless we want to refer to the kind of picnic that you have been THRILLED about for your entire life. You think this picnic is going to be THE life changing picnic. You have your basket full of goodies and the forecast is in your favor. You even tell yourself, I am finally starting to understand why everything else had to happen this way. It was all bringing me to this picnic.
Then, out of no where, your picnic takes a big giant shit on your chest. Your picnic poisons you, bites and infects you, kills your puppy, and even, EVEN, after saying NO one million time, your picnic tries to have sex with you.
Whoa, the forecast said nothing about that, you think… And then, when all of that picnic horror subsides, and you think the worst is over, BAM, a metal door frame rains down from the sky and smashes your picnic in the skull.
In the last 100 days, there have been many moments where life has felt blissful and surreal. Like, how is something as amazing as this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?
On those days, I felt in complete control and confident I was heading down the path towards making my dreams come true. It all finally started to make sense. I would be overwhelmed with enthusiasm, gratitude, and triumph.
Then there were the days, where I have felt complete and utter defeat. Like, how could something as horrible as this be happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?
On those days, I felt completely out of control and foolish. I considered giving up on myself and on my stupid dreams, too. Nothing made sense. I was overwhelmed with disappointment, frustration, and failure.
Those are definitely the wide ends of the spectrum. I know you’ve all had “those days”.
But, those are just days, fleeting most of the time, and it’s important to not get stuck to one side or the other of your emotional spectrum. Those days are a part of your life just as much as the ones in between and there is no way to avoid them or predict them or run from them.
The days of victory and the days of defeat will happen wherever you live or wherever you travel to. Those days don’t care what kind of job you have or how big your family is or how tired you are. Those days don’t care if you are a good person, or eat meat, or how much money you have in your bank account.
One of my favorite poems is “Do it Anyway” by Mother Teresa. My favorite line is, “Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.”
My point is, show up, even if you know you could face defeat. Bad things can always happen, whether you are in Thailand, the USA, Australia, etc etc.
Go to the damn picnic. Truly believe in your heart that it will be the most magical time of your life. And if it rains, it rains, and if it doesn’t turn out like you planned, well, at least YOU know that you gave the world the best you had, and hopefully one day, that will be triumphant enough.
My head is feeling a little better today, four days after the initial blow.
Yesterday, I went to a clinic down the street and the doctor cut the bloody bandage off of my head and cleaned my wound. I will get my stitches out January 14th and hopefully be able to wash my hair soon after.
I have been spending a lot of time loving up on Skinny James and Jenson. They are my favorite of the 512 dogs. I wish I could adopt them.
I have been practicing yoga most days without inversions or much complexity. I’ve had the simmer the pitta within me. My favorite time of day is when I unroll my purple mat, stretch my body and follow my breath, while overlooking the river and the elephants roaming freely. Its always a pleasure when some dogs and cats join in on my practice.
I’ve had the opportunity to chat with and meet some very cool people, some that are even now following my blog.
I got a massage for $5 and binge ate tofu at lunch a few times, just because I was bored.
I went for a long walk today to try and find the nearest village, but it was too hot and I got light headed and had to sit down in the shade under a tree. The trees root system came up and out of the ground and created a natural park bench the exact size of my ass. It was truly fascinating.
I am proud of myself for taking the chances that I have and for following my heart the 100 days I’ve been far away from my home. Some things didn’t turn out how I hoped they would and some things really hurt, but so what? What’s important is that I didn’t pick up a bottle of booze in order to cope with my setbacks. I choose to work through it. #soberAF
Sitting with those feelings of discomfort, disappointment and defeat has been the most challenging of all.
If I can get through these last 60 days, I can get through anything.