Day 12: Nha Trang Free day- Happiness hangover
Updated: Oct 27, 2019
My alarm when off and I silenced it. My alarm went off and I silence it. This went on for almost an hour and I just didnt want to get out of bed. I was so ectatic to wake up without an actual hangover, though I was definitely having a happiness hangover.
The high from the day before had definitely worn off during the night and I woke up feeling drained and void of mental clarity and strength. I saw this coming. I am better now then I once was at recognizing these “down” moments as temporary, as fleeting, as opposed to allowing my mind to get so caught up in the less perfect day and mistake it for a less then perfect life.
The days in themselves aren’t even “down” days, they are just days when I perceive the world differently because I’m fatigued.
I break off from the group and spend the day by myself, an introverted follow up to an extroverted day. NMB. I always level out the following day. Its just a part of who I am, and maybe I am more balanced then I really give myself credit for. (Probably not)
Spirituality, or being a decent, kind, grateful person, does not mean you have to be in a good mood 24/7.
The day is scorching hot. I stow away at the coffee shop with AC and write my novel of a blog from yesterday until my eyes start to water from staring at the computer screen for so long. It honestly irritates me writing about how happy I was the day before.
I roam around Nha Trang on my own and window shop and play the unavoidable game of chicken each time I cross the street, daring the motorbikes to hit me.
I walk towards the beach. The beach is where I know I should be, my zen den, so I sit and stare at the ocean. I watch the waves come in and out at and I try to synch my breath.
I see the Ferris wheel on the island across the bay and watch it go round and round. Thats more like how my thoughts go on these days.
I am in fucking Vietnam. This is a great day. I am in Vietnam. This is a great day. Get with the program. I need a nap.
There are Chinese tourists covering the beach. A group of women lay in the sand and they laugh and roll around while the waves crash on top of them and one of their husbands takes photos with his proper chunky camera. The young Chinese girls are done up in fancy clothes and whitened faces and falsely look off in the distance so their instagram boyfriend can take dozens of photos. There is a perfect family of four laying on towels down the sand from me. Mom, tall, thin. Dad, tall, fit. Son, preteen, lanky. Daughter, young, cute, and curly. They are all blonde and blue eyes and think probably from Sweden or Norway. The are all facing away from the ocean, on their bellies, and looking at their phones.
Its almost 4:30pm and I haven’t eaten anything but 2 small bananas and the last RX bar in my stash. The heat messes with my appetite, but I could go no longer.
I went to a pizza place and ordered a pizza to take away. Yup, in Vietnam. We were going on the over night train and they didnt offer food, so I wanted to make sure I had enough to eat for the night. Not so much. My hand for scale. Haha
We all meet at the hostel and take a bus to the train station. We are taking the overnight train to Da Nang, and then a bus to Hoi An. The overnight train is the most filthy thing I have ever seen. It’s dinginess makes me feel bad for it because I can imagine the train being really extravagant at one point, but now it’s just weathered. It was going to be a sleeping sheet kind of night.
I buy a bag of popcorn from the lady with the snack cart and consider “hanger” probably played an important role in my day. And next time, I’ll participate in the group activity anyway To distract my Ferris wheel mind.
Basically, I had an uneventful day as an adult child that missed her nap, snack, and play time, on a happiness hangover from the day before.