Sr Lanka: December 16th through December 28th. What really happened PART 4
He was getting increasingly more handsy and flirty with me, but because he was in such a better mood, I tried to play it off like it was nothing. I was clouded. I wanted to save dogs. I wanted to follow my dreams and I still didn’t give up on the fact that he could somehow help me accomplish that.
Harvey Weinstein of the animal world.
I moved my bedroom to the new villa. Christy left and the Germans arrived. She gave me a tip because she felt so bad that I wasn’t being paid and had to deal with a guy like Chamara.
So, now the three Germans and I were staying in the four bedroom villa that was separated from the main hotel. The gate and fence went around the both Villas.
Chamara asked me to come up to the rooftop with him one night, so I did. He brought out a small mattress pad for us to sit on. We had come to the rooftop before and had conversations about the season, so I didnt think much of it. We never had the mattress pad before. The conversations in the past had always deferred back to the same thing: how lonely he is and how much he is struggling in his business. I tried to empathize with him and tell him everything would be ok. I always kept a healthy distance from him, but tried my best to be supportive.
He told me how much he loved having me around. He told me he wanted me to run the stray dog project and that he would buy a piece of land so that we could build a shelter. I was excited to hear this because I really wanted to save the dogs and build a shelter. He asked me to stay for the next year and in between seasons he would take me with him to Dubai, China, the Maldives, etc etc…
He took my hands and looked me in the eyes and told me he was in love with me. That he wanted for me and him to run the program together. He told me that he wanted to get married and have children with me. He told me he was so lonely and that he saw something special in me. He loved how much I cared for the animals.
I told him, Thank you, but I don’t have the same feeling for you. I really want to keep the relationship between us business related only. I think I can really make a difference and help you and your program. He pulled me in for a kiss and a hug, but I told him to stop, saying, I am sorry, but I do not feel the same way.
He didnt get angry or mad by this, but instead said, you are going to fall in love with me, and we are going to get married. I told him that I was sorry, but that’s not what I am looking for right now. I really want to focus on how I can help the animals. I could tell right away that he didnt take my words seriously.
The remaining time I was at the villa, he wanted me to go everywhere with him. He didnt like when I was in my room alone too long, and he absolutely hated it when I opted out of a meal. I can only imagine him watching me on the cameras.
At the sea turtle hatchery, he hated when I talked to the guys that worked there. He’d call my name and ask for me to do something, so that the conversation would end.
He loved calling my name and expecting me to appear and if I wasn’t there and my door was locked, he would bang on my door until I came out. If my door wasn’t locked, he would walk right into my bedroom. I learned quickly to keep my door locked.
One time he came into my room and closed the door behind him. I was laying on my bed on my computer and he came and sat next to me and put his hand on my leg. I got up so quickly that I tore my dress that he was sitting on. I said Chamara, What are you doing? He said, Ok lets go! Ignoring my question and the situation. I said, No, I am not going anywhere I am right in the middle of something. He left. Another time, he walked right into my room, I got up to approach him and see what he wanted. He pulled me in for a kiss. I yelled for him to stop. He managed to get a kiss on my mouth. I felt so violated and trapped. He asked me why I didnt love him and if I thought he was ugly. I told him to leave my room.
The Germans wanted to go on a road trip. I didnt want to go, but he made me go and didnt charge me. He asked me if he could book just one room for the both of us and I said no. While away, we were walking back to the hotel rooms and he tried to get me to go back to his room. I said no.
On Christmas Day, a new yoga teacher was arriving. Initially he wanted me to go with a driver to pick her up so that he could stay with the Germans. I was ready to go, but he said he was going to go and to send him the flight itinerary. I knew he thought the flight came in at 11am, but when I checked the itinerary it said 11:40am. He was rushing around to go, so I called for him to see where he was in the villa and to let him know that he didnt have to rush. He was in the car and I approached him. He snarled and he drove off without saying anything. He didnt respond to my text messages or make eye contact with me well into the day once they got back. What the fuck did I do now? I was constantly confused.
I was on the phone with my sister on Christmas and when the conversation is over I see that I have at least ten messages from Chamara asking where I am? Where am I? What I am doing? And if I will write him a social media post. I was on the phone with my sister for twenty minutes on Christmas.
We had a booking of people Christmas Night that took up the entire villa. They were pissed that foreigners were there so Chamara asked for all of us to stay downstairs and inside. Seriously? One of the German girls and I were really confused as to what was going on, so we approached him and asked him what was going on. He asked, Why we wanted to know? I said, because I want to know where I am allowed to go. He glared at me and shushed me and walked away, so I retreated to my room, the only place I felt safe.
He called me into the office a few minutes later and told me not to yell for him and don’t talk to him like that in front of the German’s. I was taken aback by this, of course, but I apologized because I knew that’s what he wanted to hear and I was too scared to defend myself.
When Rosa came. He completely ignored her. We went to release a giant turtle on Christmas Day and she filmed him and tried to interview him. She hugged him and said thank you allowing me to witness this.
Chamara was pissed. He came to me and asked me to tell Rosa not to hug him, and not to interview him. I hated having to relay that kind of information, but I did. She could tell right away that I was not happy to be having that conversation with her and pointed out how odd the relationship is between Chamara and I. I said, I know… I hated it and its time I do something about it. How could I have let this go on so long? I know this kind of treatment is unacceptable.
The next day I told Chamara that I didnt want any extra responsibilities and I just want to teach yoga. I don’t want to be the middle man anymore. If he wants to relay information to a volunteer he will have to do it himself. I just didnt think that him and I had the ability to communicate properly and if he has feelings for me that I do not share, then this is never going to work. He was surprised and said “Whatever you want”.
The next day, I didnt do anything more than teach yoga. I didnt go to activities. I didnt post for social media. I didnt do whatever he asked me to. It wasn’t my job anymore. He hated it. He showed me this beat up house that he said he needed me to move in to once the season started. The place was a dump. He was punishing me for not loving him.
The Germans wanted to see a female sea turtle lay eggs at night, so in order to do that, you have to go to the beach and patrol and wait for a sea turtle to magically appear. I didnt want to go. Chamara made me go.
The three Germans went to the beach and Chamara and I stayed in the van. He tried to curl up with me and I kept saying No. What are you doing? Please respect the fact that I do not want to be touched by you. He said ok, sorry, but kept making advances. He then proceeded to ask me super personal questions. Questions about my previous relationships, questions about what I am looking for in a husband. He asked me when was the last time I had sex, if I like sex, and how often I masterbated. I told him those are really personal questions and I do not want to share that with you. I asked him to take me back to the villa and he said he can’t until the Germans see a sea turtle lay their eggs. So, I have to sit in the van with him for another hour completely disgusted with the situation and listen to him tell me all about his previous girlfriends and his masterbation routine. This is when I realize that this man has the ability to rape me at any time and I seriously fear that he might.
There is no cab to call or tuk tuk to take home. There is no option to leave unless I leave in that van and with that man.
The next day day we go back to the hatchery and he asks me to put the creme on his neck again. I say no. He says why not? Just do it. I say Chamara, It is not my job to massage your neck. Why can’t you respect the fact that I don’t want there to be touching or anything between us?
Later that night, after we have a meeting with Rosa, he calls me into his office. He talks about how nothing he does is good enough and how people are super nit picky with him. He told me that he thought I was special, but apparently he was wrong. He told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. I said, ok that’s fine. Perfect even. And I leave.
I decide that it is officially time to get the fuck out of there.